Ninja Proof Your House in 12 Sneaky Ways! (edit/delete)
12 Sneaky Ways to Ninja-Proof Your House
Forget zombies—Ninja are the real biggest threat to your home security. Find out how to keep these masters of stealth and assassination at bay.
Ninja: Masters of stealth, skilled assassins… threat to your home? While the lords of feudal Japan recognized the danger these highly trained experts in espionage could pose to their castles, very few modern home owners realize just how vulnerable their “castles” could be to infiltration by ninja. Even insurance companies—who will protect you from damages incurred by everything from fire totornadoes—seem oblivious to the threat, as not a single one will let you add a ninja rider to your policy.
What we’re trying to get at here is that if you want to protect yourself from the threat of ninja, you’re going to need to take matters into your own hands. But is it even possible? Ninja are renowned for their resourcefulness and tenacity. Even the most well-protected warlords fell to their blades and poison while inside seemingly impenetrable fortresses.
Still, as your trusted allies, the Movoto bloggers are honor-bound to try our best to help you protect yourselves. After all, what good is that new home if it’s just going to become infested with ninja after a month? In our best effort to curtail the threat, we’ve researched ninja and come up with some ways you can try—emphasis on “try”—to fend them off.
Know Your Enemy
Reports of ninja—also known as shinobi—date as far back at the 12th century in Japan, although most were active during the 15th through 17th century. Classified as mercenaries, they were hired by the highest bidder to provide intelligence on the military plans of rival warlords, sow discontent, and in some cases assassinate targets.
Ninja have long been associated with using a combination of martial arts, weapons, and gadgets to accomplish their dirty work. Disguises are perhaps their biggest and most important asset, however. Beyond this, you have to be prepared to defend against the ninja’s considerable collection of tools specifically designed to get into your home. Their arsenal commonly included:
Ropes with grappling hooks (up to 40 feet in length)
Rope ladders with hooks at the top (tobibashigo, or “throwing ladder”)
Kunai, a trowel-like tool used to dig through or under walls
Climbing spikes on hands and feet
The saoto hikigane, an “ear trumpet” listening device for eavesdropping
Fire-making tools, including gunpowder and exploding arrows
Katana, a samurai sword which could also be used to stand on for climbing walls
Depending on their mission, ninja would carry even more specialized gear
Ninja are incredibly adept climbers who utilize tools similar to those of mountaineers in order to scale almost any surface. And while most of the magic attributed to them is considered the stuff of folklore, they are notorious firebugs, often setting blazes in order to smoke out adversaries or burn them alive.
Taking all this information into account, we were curious how anyone could hope to protect themselves from the ninja threat in the time of feudal Japan—and how we might possibly improve on what they did in the modern day.
Defending Your Home
In 15th to 17th century Japan, ninja had become such a threat to people in positions of power that they began to take steps to ninja-proof their homes. Here’s some of what they did that’s still worth trying:
THE OLD SCHOOL APPROACH:
Squeaky floors — Most famously used in Nijo Castle in Kyoto, the so-called “nightingale floors” were dried boards attached to cross beams using nails in a “V” pattern. When someone walked across them, the nails would rub together and produce a sound like birds chirping, making it easy to hear if someone was trying to sneak across. (On the flip side, this also made it difficult for hard-partying warlords to sneak home to their angry wives.)
Gravel yards — Used for much the same…